4 Friendship Type Test: Flattery, Misunderstood, Purposeful, Or Loyal? 4 Friendship Type Test: Flattery, Misunderstood, Purposeful, Or Loyal? Skip to main content

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4 Friendship Type Test: Flattery, Misunderstood, Purposeful, Or Loyal?

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Group of four girls and two old ladies plucking fruits in garden showing their friendship type like flattery, misunderstood, purposeful, loyal
Two groups of girls and old age grannies relishing their friendship while plucking fruits from a tree in the garden!
Interestingly, friendship type test has nothing to do with any exam paper, scientific calculation, or machinery job. One doesn't need to give extra efforts to know whether his/her friendship is just flattery, misunderstood, and purposeful, or the loyal one. For knowing your friendship type with a friend, you just need to be a sharp observer of one's behavior, traits, attributes, and life-condition. Instead of being just a participant in a relationship, involve yourself with your complete observance too. Let's know below why and how to know your friendship type with your friend!

Have you ever tasted the bitter honey? Or have you ever sensed the warmth of winter? If you are saying ‘no’ you must have at least seen someone posting a blank letter!

...I know this all appears a mad or silly talk; but do you know such a mockery happens in our day-to-day life too?
It happens when-

  • A friend who was meant to be in life to add the sweetness of honey, backstabs for some piddling self-motives, leaving us with the bitterness of the lifetime.
  • A friend makes us feel the warmth of his or her support and togetherness but keeps a cold war of jealousy and envy of our better life inside their heart.

And some friends go one step ahead.

  • They show off as if they are a beautiful envelope for you who keeps the very pure-hearted thoughts for you inside their letter; but in reality, they get nothing inside that blank letter. They just flatter to get their purposes solved.

In case of friendship, the biggest tragedy is-

  • we can’t know the honey is sweet or not without tasting;
  • we can’t sense that winter because it comes in front of us wrapped in the warmth.
  • We can’t judge that the letter has words or good message or not until we open that envelop ourselves.

A Shocking Inside Truth: Real or Fake Friendship?

Ever pondered on the difference between ‘just friend’ and ‘real friend’? Just like every crush or affection is not true love, everyone whom we address as a friend is not a real friend.

In such a scenario, how to know a friend is really a friend or not! Let’s try to read between the lines and save ourselves from any kind of bitterness, winter blues, or emptiness. Let’s not allow anyone to make a mockery of us. Let’s use some acumen before the arrival of an unsaid, unscripted, and unwanted prank.

But how?! Let's find out what the Holy Book says! What advice Jesus Christ gave to his disciples regarding dealing with people?!

"Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves: be ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves. But beware of men!"
- Matthew 10:16 (Bible)

Now what the great prophet would have intended to? Let's try to understand by probing the behavioral patterns of the sheep, wolf, serpent, and doves.!

Though the saying was for addressing the strangers whom the disciples of Jesus were going to preach. So is it okay to apply this on friends? Afterall there is some difference between strangers and friends. Well, yes it is worthy to follow in this era; and not to forget...a verse written in a Holy Book is worth applying in every aspect. It is fresh, useful, and contains new meanings in every situation.

People like Sheep and Wolves

Think, what a wolf would do to a sheep? Simply, it will eat that up as it gets a chance. Here, probably 'sheep' suggests for the meek and innocent person, and 'wolves' suggests for the opportunists of hunting. So what to do if you are meek like that sheep, and want to save yourself from being eaten by the hunters-like oppressing people? Be wise as serpents. But how? Let's know what makes it wise!

Serpent's Behavioral patterns

Serpents do not just bite at the very moment. As snakes use their tongue for smelling because of their limited hearing and seeing ability, they first flick their tongue slowly in a controlled manner, which means they are observing their surrounding. Then they flick their tongue rapidly to indicate that something like a mouse or food has grabbed their attention. And also, that they may bite.

Thus it clears how wisely, indeed cleverly, a serpent observes its surrounding and then proceed to its action. So the simple rule which a serpent teaches is "Observe and act". But what next Jesus told...

Be Harmless like a Dove

It is not hidden from any human that how harmful a serpent can be if it bites. But Jesus completes the sentence by saying to "not be harmful". After all the basic principle of humanity says to spread love and brotherhood.

The Message: A Golden Rule While Dealing with People

Clearly it suggests that when you are meek or often come up as an innocent dupe, beware of being a target of wolves. For this, observe them and their behavior, and then act. Be a watcher and observer first, and then perform or react. And indeed after this, make someone close to you like a friend.

A Note to Remember

Simultaneously, while understanding the attributes and traits of a genuine friend, don’t forget to ask yourself too, whether it is or it is not so that you are also one of those fake friends lest let’s start with knowing the real meaning of friendship!

Our ultimate goal is not to judge people or behave cunningly. We aim to deal well with people and behave safely. Understanding human behavior is not for just performing smartly, it is also for grooming or improving ourselves.

What is Friendship?

"A friend loves at all times."
- Proverbs 17:17 (Bible)

All time?! Yes, all the time, no matter what! (smiles). There are no two people who are exactly the same in nature, behavior, and other aspects. No two people can have the exact, same "image". We all are different with different views and perceptions. Clashes and arguments are obvious. Differences are obvious. But if we say someone our friend, we should love the friend the way we love ourselves unconditionally in all the circumstances; with and without positive and negative aspects.

"This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you."
"Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends."
- John 15:12-13 (Bible)

How great! Does such a person exist in this world who can give his life for a friend? Surely such is tough to find. One can trust only on a prophet with much grace of God to love someone this way, beyond the care for his own life.

"This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you."
"Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends."
- John 15:12-13 (Bible)

Where such an ideal scenario is tough to find, let's become realistic and try to know how, why, and in what circumstances a friendship blossom.

Friendship is a beautiful sentiment which can be seen blossoming at its peak when the life is rescued or enriched by the existence of a friend. And when it resonates in your deepest impulses, it gives you the sheer joy and pleasure, making your life beautiful.

A real friend and his friendship is that exceptional rose plant which doesn’t grow thorns ever. It appears beautiful when planted around; when you hold, it smells sweeter and its touch gives a softer and pleasant feel. Even after leaving, its fragrance remains in hands giving you a beautiful experience.

No belonging to any kind of bad or hard feelings! How blissful is this, truly a gift on this earth!

Friendship has no survival value, but it does add value to your survival.

Friendship Formation Journey

Let’s visit the journey of human-to-human interaction and discover the stations that we cross in the process of meeting various people around and making some of them the friends.

  • Station-1: A formal talk with an unknown person
  • Station-2: An unsaid conversion of an unknown person into acquaintance
  • Station-3: Acquaintance turned into just friend
  • Station-4: Just friend to friend and friend to best friend

This whole conversion journey of ‘unknown person to acquaintance to just friend to friend to best friend’ starts from the same point. We encounter and communicate with someone and the human-interaction process begins.

We meet someone on any occasion and see ‘potential’ loyalty or scope of solving a purpose or probability of usefulness and make him or her friend. We start to walk on a journey in which we experience various climate-facets of the friendship weather. Sometimes it is spring holding flowers, other times it is summer; sometimes it is winter too, and other times it that pleasant drizzle. Just like the weather is never same, friendship also keeps changing its colors.

Loyalty is never eternal, so the loyal friends.

3 Rules of Loyalty in Friendship

  1. Do not consider someone as loyal to you without pondering enough. And once you accept someone’s friendship, welcome this relation open heartedly without any doubts. Put your heart and soul into making this friendship blossom if you want the same loyalty from your friend too.
  2. Loyalty is an investment (of feelings, support, care, and love). If you are giving your installments on time, you will get your interest too; and sometimes your reward points too.
  3. Speak loud, bold, clear, honest, and true to your friend; the same way you speak to yourself.
Do not make someone a friend before judging well. Do not judge someone after making him a friend.

Flattery and Friendship: The Geometry of This Relationship

Flattery pleasures when served with positive reinforcement and wisdom. It soothes the ears and impulses. When a person flatters us, we do not find space for understanding the difference between flattery and real friendship.

Wisdom harms the relations if used for fulfilling a selfish purpose. Its beam is a sharp sword.

Let's know what happens in a real scene!

Flattery Brings Pleasure

When someone praises or appreciates us, our senses let all good feelings pass inside and they float in patterns giving pleasures.

Pleasure Turns to be an Addiction

They settle deeper in the heart and secure space until you don’t get hurt or are betrayed. Once you give a portion of your heart, that chamber gets decorated with the flowers of spring which fragrance spread as smiles in your life. But you never know when that weather will change. Who has control over it?!

When the False Comes in Light

When it is revealed that all those praises and admiration was just the flattery and for using you for fulfilling a purpose, then that pleasant friendship weather makes you face the storms later. That change boosts the reorientation of the dynamics of your life. How much you get affected, depends on the degree of reorientation or disorientation.

The very reason behind forming a friendship makes a great difference on how the relationship will shape and last.

What to Do?

So whenever you let someone come into your friends’ list, don’t forget to overlook the situations and conditions in which your friendship grows. Ask once to yourself about the purpose of your friendship. Is that purpose noble? Is that valid? Or is that fake, materialistic, selfish, and conditional?

Friendship Type Test: How to Identify it is Flattery of Loyal Friendship?

Mostly we judge on the first glance that a friendship formation is taking place on genuine grounds or not. But sometimes we make friends and even after walking with them on the same road, we fail to identify it is flattery of friendship. Sometimes the behaviors of your friends change too, after your success or achievements.

A Mighty Note

Always remember, friends may pamper, boost up, or perk us up, but they don’t let flattery be a part of their relationship. Regardless of our designation, income, or fame, they always behave the same way.

In fact, they indirectly and unknowingly keep us sticking to our root version. They make us keep our base-version alive in us. They know us from the time when we had been struggling and they indeed play a part in our journey so they know where we come from and what we are in real. They remind us ourselves when our head gets over-sized and make us meet our base-version again.

And the best part of their story is, they do this all so smoothly and with so much ease that we don’t feel awkward about it; they know the trick to deal with us and the way to make us realize the reality, be it whatever bitter. They always suggest and help us to be a better person, a better version of ourselves.

Loyalty and Misunderstood Friendship

What is Misunderstood Friendship?

If you cannot have faith, trust, and hope in a friend the way you believe in yourself, you both are not the real and loyal friends. Or perhaps you did not understand the real meaning of the true friendship.

Get Alarmed from the Show-off

Some people become friends, but just to show off their friendship. They never show interest in giving their inputs. Simultaneously they have nothing to do with you and your life. You never can be sure about whether they will stand by you in your adverse situations or not.

Friendship: A Plant to Grow!

Building the trust is not a snap’s job; it’s like growing a plant. It takes small efforts. When you give those efforts and after some time that friendship plant grows, you expect fruits and flowers too which is somewhere a reasonable and logical expectation. But what to do when a person has just shaken hands for always getting and doesn’t wish to give even a single effort? Such people always remain ready with their excuses whenever you seek their inputs.

Such a friendship plant is irrigated from one side only and is a misunderstood friendship type which takes you nowhere but to disappointment.

Oops Those Back-biters!

Such so-called friends can join your anti-group anytime and don’t mind spilling beans against you for the enjoyment. When you will commit any mistake, they laugh secretly instead of consoling you.

The 'Bye-Bye' Friends!

In fact, when you get to know the reality and try to flee from the further unrevealed and unproved betrayal, they will not try to regain or flourish your friendship too. They don’t mind if your friendship breaks. Sometimes when they realize that you also have understood that you both were sharing a misunderstood friendship, they try to make distances. They do this deliberately for saving themselves from any kind of embarrassment.

Friendship Type Test: How to Identify if it is a Misunderstood Friendship?

Instead of gossiping on our bad or unfavorable circumstances or behavior, loyal friends straightly reach to us and clear all the clutter. They stand next to us in our bad times. If we do something wrong with them by mistake, they try to correct us and give their mindful efforts for making us a better person. They don’t just forgive, they practice it too. They do it because it is not about winning for them; they value our relationship and so do anything for preserving it.

Purposeful Friendship

We all begin the friendship with some obvious or favorable purposes. They appear genuine in starting, but when such a purpose remains the only reason of friendship, it tends to see hardships in future. Below are some common purposes that start the weaving of friendship between two people.

Thoughtful Transmission

Your thoughts match, so you want to converse.

Value Addition

You think your friend’s profession, money, help, advice, counseling or status can add to your kitty (value).

Seek Positivity

Your friend’s positive approach to life and optimistic nature give you bight of positivity.

Boost Confidence

Some friends believe in you and your skills so directly or indirectly boost your confidence.

Mood Perk Ups

The comedy and sense of humor of your friend attracts you.

Friendship Type Test: How to Identify it is Purposeful of Loyal Friendship?

People who make friends purposefully for reasons, they choose prosperous people for utility, and not for emotions. They try to find usefulness, assistance or help only in friendship, which is out of bondage.

This is why prosperous people are seen surrounded by troops of friends, who don’t take a second in fleeing at the time of crisis, leaving their so-called friend lonely.

The Lime-light-Seekers Caught!

This is the time when a person gets to know the worth of all friends, and also loyalty or faithfulness.

Such estimated and calculated friendships of convenience and favor see fear, betrayal, sorrow, breaks, and pain.

A calculated and estimated relation of searching convenience and favor in adverse time of need is not real friendship; it is fake and indeed just bargain.

It sees nobility or faithfulness only by the time of usefulness and utility and ultimately witnesses betrayal, fear, heart-breaks, pain, and sorrow.

The Real Friendship of a Loyal Friend

Friendship Type Test: How to Identify the Loyal Friendship?

Real friends not only give you the attention and listen to you but also keep track of our stress.

Dear Friends: The Saviors in Storm

Life gives many surprises with its tricky moves. So do the friends; they surprise us with their mindful and deeper understanding of what we are. They help us in adversities giving us more suitable dealing ways. They manage to do so because they know us and our life very well and in the stressful state when our mind feels stuck, they calmly and patiently remain with us holding our hands tightly.

We all have flaws and we all live low moments which sometimes arouse a self-criticizing negative reflection. In such a phase of life, true friends motivate and push us to be positive and accepting of ourselves. They lift up our spirits with their closeness, cheerful, and supportive presence.

Friends make us feel comfy and confident with ourselves. They make us meet ourselves.

The Fact about Loyal and Real Friendship

A real friend is above any purpose, self, motive, expectation, value addition or usefulness. There no if and buts work. You know, you rather believe in friends the way you believe in yourself. You trust the way you trust in yourself.

Have you ever thought you can grow negative thoughts about yourself or think bad of you? You know about your mistakes, minuses, weakness, evens, and still always think positive and good about your life. You never curse yourself whatever bad you do. You never punish yourself whatever blunders you make.

A true friend is the one you think about whom the same way you think about yourself. No curse, no bad thought, no skeptical attitudes, no complain, no bad opinion. Only love, understanding, hope, loyalty, faith and truth.

Yes, only a good human can win your heart this way. And only a good human can make such a selfless friend for whom you grow no doubts. But are we talking about ideologies here? Is it not practical or impossible? Don’t such people exist in this world now? Is it a part or aspect of folklore only? “No!”

The foundation of humanity has not collapsed yet. It is there. Good friends exist. True friendship might not be a tree that gives fruits and never steps back from its giving nature, but it can be earned.

The efforts and inputs for relishing the sweetest taste of friendship never go waste. Either your loyalty from the same friend realizes your genuineness later and then will be back to pay you off for that all ‘good’. If this too doesn’t happen, your goodness will be deposited to heaven’s account. All that good which does not pay to you in material or stuff goes in your spiritual balance.

You cannot see the calculations of this account because it is beyond the rules. You add x, it will multiply your balance and save nx. How much the goodness can pay, you can’t measure because if you will know the secret of this calculation, you will be astounded and overwhelmed. That ‘n’ is beyond numbers and calculations, so God had not unveiled its mystery. But once you start to sense, you will realize the profit as some treasure that is priceless and incomparable.

Genuine Friendships Rescuing Humanity

Can any relationship be seen growing without any personal interests? Think far…is there anyone who is bonded with someone without reason and benefit?

For understanding the meaning of a genuine Friendship, a bond between the mother and her baby is the best exemplar. When a mother feeds and grows a little baby, she doesn’t take care of a one-year-old baby thinking of her ‘self’. She doesn’t bestow her love assuming that her baby will serve her in her old age after 40 -50 years.

How obvious is this! No one can plan or forecast the future or life after about 40-50 years.

Then what makes her showering the rain of love, care and all of her on her little baby?

That bond is unconditional and selfish. That relationship can’t be defined in words or bound in boundaries or set within parameters. It is obvious that the child will pay the time and care when they will be needed in future. But in case that little child fails to fulfill the unsigned and undefined duties due to certain circumstances, conditions, death, or unexpected inabilities, should he be cursed, blamed, or sent to the hell?

Let’s see this from a different angle! Should a mother loving and caring baby thinking of those ‘might be possible’ circumstances?

The fact is- a mother’s love is that fragrance of flower which is given existence to soothe its inhalers. No ‘even or odds’, ‘if or buts’, ‘profit or loss’ works here.

Not only the relation between parents and children but all relations blossom on this same foundation and fundamentals.

The benefits or consequences can’t be judged. Relations are those equations which answer key is not kept in light in our world. It is complicated to solve step-by-step and nail to perfection in solving. Only the formula is disclosed which asks for unconditional and devoted servings. You only can apply the formula and leave the rest to the almighty. Unfortunately, very few of us believe in this formula because we all need the climax with reasonably right results. We all need a happy ending of every story of our life. And we fail here in understanding. Know below how!

Life is not a book of several individual stories; it is fictional, beyond reasons or facts, and is to be seen in integrity.

Life is a series of events with final judgments and climax made in heaven. We see only one part of the film which is directed in this world (planet or earth). This part is witnessed by our body and the other part by the soul in another world. So it is advised by holy books, scriptures, verses, and elders that we should do right which is as per principles, morals, and ethics. So ideally we should believe in keeping the scrupulous fellowship.

The friendship has an essence that produces partnership and generates mutual understanding. This partnership and understanding find space in all our interests and commons.

We cannot regard ourselves alone to live happily. Have you ever laughed or smiled alone? Love, care, and harmony are made to blossom between people. We cannot enjoy their essence all alone, regarding only ourselves.

The plants of relationship or any bond can’t be irrigated by just own utilities, choices, and preferences. It grows by feeding with upright and virtuous consciences.


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